Five years ago today…

Two Italians who I had never met ran around in my front yard with me screaming their heads off and drinking champagne. Never gets old!

Parade 004

111 thoughts on “Five years ago today…”

  1. And five years later, the Yankees will play in the World Series with the opportunity to stake claim to “Team of the Decade.”

    The resume:

    – 8 AL East Division titles
    – 4 World Series Appearances
    – 1 (perhaps 2?) World Series championships

    No doubt if they beat the Phillies, they are the Team of the ‘Aughts.

  2. The Italians in my front yard will stay there as long as they want. Across the street from my house there is a place called the Palermo Social Club, and it’s patrons are all members of a time honored fraternity. Kind of like their thing, ya know…

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  3. Farewell, farewell ! but this I tell
    To thee, thou Wedding-Guest !
    He prayeth well, who loveth well
    Both man and bird and beast.
    He prayeth best, who loveth best
    All things both great and small ;
    For the dear God who loveth us,
    He made and loveth all.

    The Mariner, whose eye is bright,
    Whose beard with age is hoar,
    Is gone : and now the Wedding-Guest
    Turned from the bridegroom’s door.

    He went like one that hath been stunned,
    And is of sense forlorn :
    A sadder and a wiser man,
    He rose the morrow morn.

    -Last lines of ‘The Rime of the Ancient Mariner’.

    everyone should read it.

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  4. PSF, it was received. Address was correct.

    We followed the instructions. And the picture is on the way to Connecticut. It should actually be there soon, I hope.
    The teddy bear is already traveling around Italy.

    It’s a great project. Well done!

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  5. Heres what ive never understood-

    Why do they call him Alexander the Great???

    Whats so great about butchering thousands and thousands of people???

    You ever hear them call him ‘Stalin the Great’???

    LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU!

    *outtie*

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  6. CINCINNATI – The Procter & Gamble Co. has recalled some 120,000 bottles of Vicks Sinex nasal spray after the company found bacteria in samples during routine testing.

    Said bacteria goes straight up your nostrils.
    It doesnt get much better than that.

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  7. Hi-

    If you guys havent seen tim lincecum, you should. Pitcher. Giants.

    He is absolutely off the charts, on several levels.

    Hair like a woman, the demanor of a 60s flower child, his persona is RIGHT THERE.

    What brings this home however, is this:

    On the mound he is absolutely filthy.

    You servant.

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  8. Hey guys, here are the latest news on the MLB Hot Stove season. Roy Halliday has waved his “no trade clause” and the BJ’s are negotiating with the newly crowned World Series Champs New York Yankees on a trade for the righty. Word is that they want Joba, Melky and the catcher in the minors (sorry, don’t know his name, blue chip prospect though) for the pitcher. With Halliday in the fold for the next 2 or 3 years, pencil the Bombers for at least one or two more parades down the Canyon of Heroes…Let’s do it for the Boss!!!

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  9. Hi-

    You know many of you have axed me…’rich- why are you the way you are?”

    Ill tell you why in a simple statement-

    Because when i was born they found me in a shoebox under an overpass on I-495.

    And the thing is- the shoebox was the wrong size.

    OUTTIE!

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  10. Guy comes home with roses for his wife. Wife says, “Well I guess ill have to spread my legs.”

    Guy says, “Why?”

    Wife says “well because you dont have a vase.”

    What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?

    “Morning, Ladies.”

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  11. Hi-

    For the last few years ive felt lonely, so a while back i bought a pet monkey.

    things progressed nicely and my loneliness began to disappear.

    part of the reason is because i began to carry him around, wherever i was, on my left shoulder.

    one day, i was at fenway, and went to a street vendor with a grill full of sausages.
    the guy asked me what will i have and before i could answer the monkey flew off my left shoulder and ate the entire grill.

    i apoligized and of course paid the whole bill.

    but the reason i write to you from walpole is this-

    i got stopped by a statie on 128 and the fuk came over and asked for my license and registration. i rolled down the window but before i could produce the docs, the monkey once again flew off my shoulder, out the window…

    AND ATE HIS ENTIRE FACE OFF.

    fortunately the judge was sympathetic and let me serve my 20 years with my pet monkey in my jail cell.

    the good thing is they have internet here, and no one dares bother me.

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  12. Hey, I think the Sox (read Theo) are making some decent moves….I like the Lackey signing…another ugly dispositioned attitude ala Beckett…the Sox have the best starting 5 in MLB in my opinion. Even better, Halliday is out of the AL and that alone is worth a couple of wins/year for the Sox. Hermida is a low cost/low risk reclamation project, and Cameron is a good fit. Bay is gone and there IS a need for a thunderstick in the line-up…..we’ll see what Theo does.

  13. AAAAHHHH Wally, always the optimist. Lackey is a broken down hare lipped hasbeen with a bad elbow. Beltre for Lowell??? Theo’s weed stash must have been upgraded. If y’all had gotten Halliday I would have been impressed, Cameron??? another KOKO, but in the words of EL RICARDO, EET’s MADNE$$$$$$…

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  14. friends-

    I had a blind date w a girl from Hong Kong last night. when we met she extended her hand, but i put mine up her dress. Wrong move. I guess she has a black belt in karate, so i got pummelled pretty bad.

    She fractured my jaw in 7 places.

    My left ear is missing, and my mouth looks like a gopher hole- sitting on the right side of my face.

    fuk.

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  15. Friends-

    Metal on metal and slow gringing of gears, but The Goodship slowly takes form.

    “I think our run prevention overall is going to be really solid, we like our lineup, and this puts us in a position to have some flexibility if we need to make a move down the road to have some offense,’’ Epstein said. “We like the position we’re in right now.’’

    The Sox now have six starters in line for 2010, starting with the Big Three of Lackey, Beckett, and Jon Lester, and including Clay Buchholz, Daisuke Matsuzaka, and Tim Wakefield. There’s insurance in the numbers, and the addition is at the front end of the rotation rather than from the back end, as there was last offseason with John Smoltz and Brad Penny.

    IN BASEBALL THERE IS NOTHING QUITE AS EFFECTIVE AS FRONT LINE PITCHING.

    OGRS VS. OPID!

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  16. I think YANKEEFAN, apart from his obvious nyc predilections, is also soft on communism.

    I think his employer should fire him, and his industry should put him on a blacklist.

    Also, Congress should look into his activities. I have evidence i will present after the holidays.

    -joe mccarthy

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  17. would it be a good idea to maybe carpet bomb yemen?

    just axeing.

    -curtis lemay

    ps- just what exactly is so wrong with the stone age? after all, the industrial revolution hadnt yet wrecked its havoc with smog, child labor and pollution.

    Did you know that in those purefacted climates, plants, animals, and humans grew to enormous sizes, and lived long long lives?

    Nothing wrong with that. Not a thing. Wed be doing them a favor.

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  18. I got a men’s 29 piece grooming kit for Xmas.

    The problem is, im having trouble matching up the right utensil w the right part of my body.

    I tried one to cut my big toenail, and ended up giving myself an appodectomy.

    I tried another to remove hair from a nostril, now im missing the entire thing.

    dammit

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  19. Ahhhh. YM, you call ME an optimist????…..puh-leze!….why dont you take that number two pencil you use to write down the Micky-D orders at the take out window, and do the math……add up the hits/hr’s/rbi’s that the Yanks have jettisoned, then subtract the number of hits/hr’s/rbi’s that the Yanks acquired…..I’d say, all things being equal, the Yanks line-up has given up a fair total of those afore-mentioned hits/hr’s/rbi’s….I do applaud Cashman on the Granderson move…brilliant!….he will be a star in NY, no doubt.

  20. let’s see….

    Ellsbury cf/lf .300/10/50 50-60 sb/ outstanding defense
    Pedroia 2b .300/10/60 GG defense
    Martinez c .300/25/100
    Youks 3b .310/25/110 GG defense
    Ortiz dh .270/30/110
    Beltre 3b .270/25/90 GG defense
    Drew rf .270/20/80 Solid defense/baserunning/arm
    Cameron lf/cf .270/20/75 GG defense/baserunning
    Scutaro ss .290/12/50 solid defense/baserunning

    Starting Rotation

    Beckett…the ability to win 20
    Lackey…the ability to win 20
    Lester…the ability to win 20
    Bucholz…may have the nastiest stuff I’ve seen since Petey…could be a breakout year for him…good for at least 12-15 wins
    Dice-K….another 18 wins?…or another 5?
    Wakes….innings eater who always surprises…10-12 wins

    Bullpen is still solid and Papelbon is still a top notch closer.

    These projections are certainly not far-fetched….looking at them, the Sox are clearly competitive in the big bad AL east. Can they win it?…another wild card?…Rays are gonna be in the mix too, and of course the MFY’s are still favorites to win the east.

    I’m looking forward to this season….I want to see this defense, this pitching staff and how a “run prevention” philosophy works in the AL east. Could be interesting.

  21. Ellsbury cf/lf .300/10/50 50-60 sb/ outstanding defense
    Pedroia 2b .300/10/60 GG defense
    Martinez c .300/25/100
    Youks 3b .310/25/110 GG defense
    Ortiz dh .270/30/110
    Beltre 3b .270/25/90 GG defense
    Drew rf .270/20/80 Solid defense/baserunning/arm
    Cameron lf/cf .270/20/75 GG defense/baserunning
    Scutaro ss .290/12/50 solid defense/baserunning

    Ellsbury-injury prone/good glove-can’t hit
    Pedroia-this mf can play
    Martinez-injury prone-streak hitter-bad streaks are longer than good
    Youks-this mf can hit too-GG def. too bad we have the eventual GG winner…
    Ortiz-being watched for PED’s not the same hitter anymore
    Beltre-can’t hit the breaking stuff, wonder why the M’s let him go when they rebuilt???
    Drew??? overpaid and over rated…
    Cameron??? Scutaro??? complete downgrades from previous personnel…

    Wally, it seems the sox are struggling to get the real talent to stay or move to beantown…but, look, just think of all the free time you all will have by June…

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  22. also rich, the only time I’ve rooted for the mets was in ’86 during the WS…I don’t mean to open up old wounds, but that WS was one of the best I’ve seen… I still remember Scully going crazy…and the picture of the clubhouse attendants covering the lockers with plastic to make sure the Champagne didn’t ruin their clothes…and then Carter starts with that hit with 2 outs and 2 strikes…you know the rest…

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  23. ahhhh YM, I dont why I bother to point out what short sighted moron you are….your post already make that point…as they typically do.

    So, let’s see…Ellsbury cant hit?…check the numbers

    Martinez…injury prone and streaky?…again check the numbers….

    Ortiz…not the same hitter…agredd, which is why I pencilled him in for .270/30/110 instead of the gaudy numbers he used to put up…and eat shit YM regarding PED’s…you of all fans have NOTHING to whine about.

    Beltre?…dont think he will hit in Feway in this lineup?…are you daft boy? In any case the numbers I projected aint exactly MVP type numbers…but he will be a great complimentary peice of the line up.

    Drew?…once again you imbecile, you ahve no place to whine about a ballplayers salary/worth…the idiots in the Bronx have spend more than the GNP of many countries over the past decade on has beens and never wases….please YM….In any case, Drew will hit the numbers I projected…he always does….again not MVP numbers but sufficient.

    The Yanks would LOVE to have Cameron….I glad the Sox do, he will be part of likely the best defensive OF in the bigs…and he will whack 20+ dingers…nuf said.

    Scutaro?….what are you drunk?…very solid defensive glove..great arm…can run a little bit, and was one of the top LEAD OFF hitters in the game last year….gee, wonder how he’ll do batting 9th in this lineup.

    Not to mention super sub Bill Hall who can play every position on the field except catcher and pitcher…and has some pop.

    Not to mention Hermida, who may be the next to break out in Boston ala Ortiz….the guy is dripping with talent.

    Oh, did I mention the pitching staff?….

    3rd place eh…..

    Go take your meds YM….you’re clearly in a world of your own.

  24. Hakuna Matata. Time to start a new run of excellence in a new decade. But please, spare me the word “value.” “Value” in April gets 250+ yards against you in playoff game in January. “Value” means never having to see Tex in a RS uniform.

    Rich said it best years ago — Captain Ahab, Billy Value. I’ve gone over to the dark side with Rich.

  25. YM-

    And what Waldo failed to mention is that Hall can play all those positions at once. Thats right- when hes on the field there are only 3 players:

    pitcher
    catcher
    himself.

    You should see him catch his own throws on slow rollers to 3b. Unreal.

    Big Baby

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  26. SANTO DOMINGO, Dominican Republic — Former major league All-Star Jose Offerman threw a punch at an umpire during an argument in a Dominican winter league game Saturday night. Offerman was detained by stadium security and taken to a police station to wait until the end of the game to see if Rayburn would press charges. Offerman demanded to be released based on ability to catch pop-ups.

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  27. “The decision … is definitive,” said Matos-Berrido. “Offerman is excluded for life from Dominican baseball.” Maybe the Sox will pick him up as a bench coach, they are always looking for good guys in the clubhouse.

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  28. well gee rich….what does she have to do or say before you realize that she deserves to “blow this election”…do you really want that woman representing you?

  29. THIS IS GREAT!!!!

    http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/extras/extra_bases/2010/02/ravens_owner_bl.html

    excerpt:

    Baltimore Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti is a really rich guy. But he’ll be able to drink for free in Boston, Toronto, Tampa Bay and Baltmore for a while thanks to what he said to the Baltimore Sun:

    “If I’m a Yankees fan, I’m upset we’re not winning 130 games with the roster that they have and the money that they pay out. I think it’s a disgrace they only beat the average team by 10 games in the standings with three times the money. I’d fire that GM. You don’t need a GM. All you have to do is buy the last Cy Young Award winner every year.”

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    he gave them the spaceblaster!

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  30. richie, it just shows that this dude knows less about baseball than he does about football…and he doesn’t know crap about football… if he knew baseball, he’d know that the Bombers from the Boogeydown could win 130 games any time they wanted… they just choose NOT TO!!!

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  31. ” So solly so solly. I apologize to all toyoda customer.

    Maybe Toyada customer use two feet on brake pedal. Maybe that work. Or use parking brake.

    In velly bad case, put transmission in reverse. Or if have small children, open door, hold them outside by feet and let heads scrape highway to stop.

    Gowwy- 8 million car…Ive changed my mind- im not going to fix them. I think instead Ill do nothing and simply wait for all the cars to crash. Then no more complaints. Stock price go back up.

    Maybe sometimes TWO Toyada crash into each other.

    THAT TWO FOR ONE SPECIAL.

    AHAHAHAHAHA.”

    -Akio Toyada

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  32. Akio-

    This would never have happened to a BMW, and everyone knows it.

    Tough noogies, and thanx for fuking up the Pacific 70 years ago. You wiped out nearly 1/2 their fleet out there that morning, yet you still couldnt take them.

    Loosers! We should have gone in with the Chinese!

    -Bavarian Motor Works

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  33. lol Du.

    We sure did. 8 million fuked up vehicles…ROAMING THE ENTIRE GLOBE.

    Even the Talibman are dismayed. And al-qaeda is so put off theyve forgotten their entire agenda, vowing instead to turn Japans main industry back to making 1950s ludicrous monster movies.

    ATARI!

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  34. And now a word from your favorite charitable organization- the NYPD:

    NEW YORK — A New York City student has been arrested for doodling on her desk.

    Twelve-year-old Alexa Gonzalez scribbled “Lex was here 2/1/10″ on her desk at Junior High School 190 in Queens. She also wrote “I love my friends Abby and Faith.”

    Her mother, Moraima Tamacho, says Alexa was released several hours after she was taken in handcuffs to a police station.

    Education department spokesman David Cantor said it “shouldn’t have happened.” Cantor says “common sense should prevail.”

    Last month, the New York Civil Liberties Union filed a lawsuit alleging wrongful arrests and assaults by school safety officers.

    Alexa has been assigned eight hours of community service, a book report and an essay on what she’s learned from the experience.

    *and an essay on what she’s learned from the experience.*
    answer: the NYPD is a group of psychotic fuktards.

    only in nyc. they never fail ya.

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  35. Hundreds of New York City teachers removed from classrooms on a wide range of allegations are sent to offices that are called “rubber rooms.”

    Many stay there for years, waiting for determinations of their guilt or innocence.

    But while they wait they do nothing at all. And they’re still paid.

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  36. you guys been mining truck day?

    I have.

    Heres what would be great- a video of that humongous trucK travelling thru nyc, but with an adjustment

    IT SHOULD THROTTLE WAY DOWN IN NYC, CAUSING TRAFFIC JAMS AND UPSETTING THEIR POPULACE. IT COULD EVEN TAKE A WRONG TURN, MAYBE END UP IN MANHATTAN, CONSTANTLY STOPPING AND ASKING POEOPLE WHICH WAY TO THE NJ TURNPIKE.

    BETTER YET, YOU COULD SEE IT DOUBLE PARKED ON WALL STREET, THE DRIVER INSIDE ASKING MARKET MAKERS FOR DIRECTIONS.

    VIDEO IT ALL!

    JUST MAKE AN OBNOXIOUS SHOW OF THE GOODSHIP, AND DRIVE THE NATIVES TO DRINK.

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